Choosing Where to Die
This past weekend I ran my first trail race of the new year. Despite running a few last year and finishing my last race of 2022 with a strong time and feeling great about the upcoming season, this race did not sit well. It’s amazing how quickly your body adapts, both in a good way and a negative one.
For me, eating like crap, drinking too much, and not training during the holidays really had me feeling out of shape. I gained about ten pounds and based on my body fat percentage, it wasn’t muscle. But…I signed up. I knew I had to do it. And I knew quitting wasn’t an option. So on January 7th, at around 6pm, I lined up at the starting line to begin my 2023 racing year.
I started strong, but could tell a difference in my conditioning within the first couple of miles. Signs of exhaustion that I normally felt towards the end of the race were kicking in early. Around the halfway mark, my vision started doing its thing where it gets blurry. I was a little light headed and the thought crossed my mind that I might be about to pass out.
I continued to push on, reminding myself that I had done this before and could do it again. The mental war had begun.
“Can you take even one more step at this pace?”
This is the question I ask myself when I start feeling doubt creep in. Considering it takes me a few steps to even ask the question, the answer is an obvious, “Yes!”
And so I keep going.
I recently listened to a podcast with Jesse Itzler and he talked about advice given to him by Chad Wright. Chad gave him 3 simple rules for breaking through his limits.
Never give your pain a voice.
Never die in the chair.
Flip the script to something we are grateful for.
The second point is the one that stuck with me. The idea behind “Never die in the chair” is simple. On a long race like 100 miler, you take breaks and sit down to rehydrate, change shoes, fuel up, etc. These breaks is when most people quit. They get comfortable. The pain starts to set in. They decide then, “You know what…I’m done.” Just like that, they tap out.
Never die in the chair means that you don’t quit at these points. You either finish the race and are victorious. Or, you go until you physically cannot put one foot in front of the other.
This saying stuck with me because it’s the exact strategy I’ve used during all of my races. Even my very first race, when I felt like tapping out after the first lap, I decided that I’d do at least one more before I called it quits. Even if I had to walk the entire lap, I was going to finish it. By the end of the second lap, I knew I could finish the third and final lap. I might walk it. I might be dead last. But I was going to finish.
This is why I love running long distance trail races so much. It’s physical enough that most people think you’re crazy. More than that though, it’s the most mentally demanding thing I’ve ever done. You’re genuinely at war with your mind. It wants you to quit. It knows you’re in pain. It knows there is no one watching. No one that’s going to blame you for not finishing. But you know you committed and you must win the war with your mind to finish.
Personally, I’ve made a commitment to myself when running that I’ll never die in the chair. I’ll always keep going. And the only way I stop is if I cross that finish line or I collapse on the trail because my body physically can’t go anymore and shuts down on me. Those are the only two options.
Oh and that first race back…I finished with my second best time so far.